xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
