I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she peed on how many people?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
