I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
