No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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