did you get engaged???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
