You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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