On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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