I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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