I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
