I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
operation have a gay friend backfired
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
