She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
