And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon