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• (352): View more from Florida

  I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?

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• (415): View more from California

  SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!

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