Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I should injure you considerably.

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  (847): And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so. (1-847): I should injure you considerably. http://tfl.nu/3r9j
  Replies (86) Good night (4170) Bad night (1719)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i may or may not be watching the land before time

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  (404): i may or may not be watching the land before time http://tfl.nu/fmo5
  Replies (40) Good night (7416) Bad night (1010)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror

  (906): View more from Michigan

  its going to be a good night

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  (231): i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror (906): its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/k4vc
  Replies (22) Good night (5617) Bad night (915)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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  (540): when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking http://tfl.nu/ngdb
  Replies (14) Good night (4400) Bad night (910)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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  (343): STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS. http://tfl.nu/4nyg
  Replies (1) Good night (3785) Bad night (1446)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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  (203): it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore http://tfl.nu/bfwd
  Replies (32) Good night (3512) Bad night (996)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Are you talking about my vagina?

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  (252): Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it (919): Are you talking about my vagina? http://tfl.nu/sfmr
  Replies (29) Good night (8967) Bad night (1053)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8867) Bad night (1240)
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  (631): View more from New York

  do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

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  (631): do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis? http://tfl.nu/tizi
  Replies (14) Good night (4034) Bad night (1032)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..

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  (410): still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that.. http://tfl.nu/9298
  Replies (4) Good night (1564) Bad night (851)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (1211)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show

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  (404): Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show http://tfl.nu/4xxy
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (332)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have the starring role in a literal shit show.

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  (254): I have the starring role in a literal shit show. http://tfl.nu/1tyi
  Replies (5) Good night (405) Bad night (502)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?

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  (832): If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me? http://tfl.nu/3f6r
  Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (373)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.

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  (310): I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends. http://tfl.nu/6v2p
  Replies (6) Good night (378) Bad night (387)

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