i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!