none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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