she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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