i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
