If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
