You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
