Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
