mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
