I've blown a few things in my day
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Still dying that you shit outside
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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