i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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