dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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