literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
