Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
