Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
