So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
