i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
