I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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