U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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