the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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