if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
