I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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