Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
