my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
