new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Let's paint friendship bongs
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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