i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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