I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
