Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I believe in your delicious
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
