i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
