I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
