I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
