guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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