After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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