if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
