My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
