I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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