I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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