We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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