dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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