for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
