Already got asked if we're dating
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize