i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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