We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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