i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
