quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
