At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
