i permit you to call me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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