their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
