I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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