just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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